Year: 2024

The effects of praising in parenting are profound and impactful. Praise serves as a vital tool for positive reinforcement, allowing parents to express approval and encouragement. When children are praised, it not only boosts their self-esteem but also motivates them to continue positive behaviours, reinforcing their sense of achievement and self-worth.

As parents, our primary aim is to help children develop good habits and behaviours through consistent practice. The effects of praising play a significant role in this process, increasing the chances that children will repeat and internalize these positive actions.

Praising can be viewed as a short-term strategy that leads to long-term success. By offering genuine and timely praise, parents can guide their children toward forming lasting, positive habits. Once the target behaviour becomes a natural part of the child’s routine, the need for constant praise gradually reduces. Instead, the child learns to carry forward their positive behaviour independently, a testament to the lasting effects of praising done right.

There are 2 types of praise.

1. Routine Normal Praise

This is the everyday praise we commonly use and are familiar with.

• Children thrive on this kind of recognition, and it strengthens your bond with them.
• Simple yet effective, routine praise fosters a positive and loving relationship.

2. Special Praise That Encourages Behavioral Change

This type of praise goes a step further, focusing on reinforcing desired behaviors.

• Be enthusiastic and expressive: Use an excited tone, gestures, and facial expressions to convey your approval.
• Be specific: Clearly mention what the praise is for (e.g., “Amazing! You completed your homework on time!”).
• Add non-verbal gestures: A pat on the back, a warm hug, a high-five, or a gentle kiss enhances the impact of your words and makes the praise more memorable.

For making a change in behavior effective, all factors mentioned under special praise have to be applied together. Few examples are shown below.

Selecting Specific Behaviors to Praise

Praising starts with identifying the exact actions or behaviors you want to encourage in your child. This is a crucial first step in shaping positive habits.

• Define the behavior: Clearly identify the specific good behavior you want your child to develop. This could range from completing homework on time to sharing toys with siblings.
• Be observant: Stay attentive and watch for moments when your child demonstrates the desired behavior. Acknowledge and praise it immediately to reinforce the action.
• Follow the praise formula: Ensure each instance of praise includes the three components of special praise-enthusiasm, specificity, and non-verbal gestures.

Start by focusing on one or two key behaviors at a time to avoid overwhelming your child and to ensure consistency in reinforcement.

Here are some examples of good behaviors to consider praising:

By carefully selecting and consistently praising specific behaviors, you set the foundation for long-term positive growth in your child.

How to Make Praise Effective

1. Praise Immediately After the Action:
   Timeliness is key to effective praise. Acknowledge the good behavior as soon as it happens to reinforce the connection. For example, if your child washes their hands, say, “That’s great, Sam! You washed your hands,” immediately after the action.
2. Praise Increments of Progress:
   Recognize and praise efforts as well as achievements. For example, if your child spends more time than usual doing homework, praise their dedication by saying, “You’ve worked really hard on your homework today—well done!”
3. Avoid Generic Praise:
   Empty praise like “That’s great!” or “Good job!” without context loses its impact. Be specific about what you’re praising, such as, “I’m so proud of how you shared your toys with your friend.”
4. Focus on Actions, Not the Child:
   Praise the behavior, not the child’s character. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re a good boy because you cleaned your room,” say, “You did a great job cleaning your room!” This avoids unintentionally implying that they’re “bad” when they don’t perform the desired behavior.
5. Keep Love Unconditional:
   Never tie your love to their behavior. Avoid statements like, “We love you because you did this.” Children need to know that parental love is unconditional. Reassure them frequently that your love is not dependent on their actions.
6. Avoid Making It About Yourself:
   Do not frame praise around your emotions, such as, “You’ll make us happy if you do this.” Instead, emphasize that good behaviors are important because they are the right thing to do, not because they please others. Make it clear that your happiness and love are not conditional on their actions.
7. Never Condemn or Compare:
   Avoid following praise with criticism or comparisons, such as, “Great! You picked up your toys. Why can’t you always be like this? Why can’t you be good like your sister?” This undermines the praise and can lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment. Instead, focus solely on the positive behavior at hand.

By following these guidelines, your praise will be meaningful and effective in shaping positive behavior in your child while fostering their confidence and emotional well-being.

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs that you would come across, one that requires so much patience and tolerance. When you hear the word family, the picture that comes to your head is one with parents and children taking a vacation together or playing outside. However the story of those who have already become parents is far more different than this picture. It’s a constant struggle from waking up to going to bed, physical and mental exhaustion, and a great responsibility. So are you ready to be a parent?

There are a few things that you need to think about yourself before becoming a parent.

1) Financial Stability-

Nurturing a baby nowadays can be very expensive. Therefore the questions you have to ask yourself are:

• Will you be able to provide the baby with the essentials like food, clothes, medicine and vaccines?
• Do you have a steady income that will be able to fulfil the baby’s needs when growing up?
• Are you willing to spend a great portion of your hard-earned money on someone else?
• Are you willing to save up a certain amount of money for someone else’s future well-being?

It is true that becoming financially stable may take many years, especially in a country like Sri Lanka. But if you’re planning to become a parent, you should at least have a solid plan and a way of earning a stable income.

2) Time Management –

Before becoming a parent you’ll have enough free time to watch movies or hang out with friends. Once you become one, you’ll have to say bye-bye to some of the things that you used to do before because it is sometimes very hard to find the right time, so it won’t interfere with the time you spend with kids.

So,

• Are you willing to separate a great amount of your free time for someone else??
• Are you willing to cut down on certain leisure activities so you can spend that time with someone else?
• Are you willing to have less time for yourself?
• Are you willing to go to bed late daily and wake up early to fulfil children’s needs??
• Are you willing to spend time less frequently with friends because of kids??

If the answer is “yes” to all the above questions without any second thoughts, you can say you are ready to be a parent.

3) Relationship Stability

It’s vital to have a trustworthy and committed relationship between mother and father, the two pillars of a family. Otherwise, the family will fall apart.

Traditionally in Sri Lanka, it’s the mother who is responsible for children and house chores. However, nowadays both parents work in most families. Therefore both have to agree to contribute paramountly to the wellbeing of the child.

So you have to ask your partner,

• Are you on good terms with me about raising a child?
• Will you be equally responsible for taking care of the child?

The answer should be “yes”.

4) Social Support

If you’re a working parent, you need a strong support system. This includes a team comprising of grandparents, uncles, aunties and other relatives. So you have to ask yourself :

• Do you have people who are willing to babysit while you’re away?
• Do you have people who have gone through the same experience and are willing to give you advice?
• Do you have people to support you in an emergency?
• Are those people trustworthy and responsible when it comes to taking care of the baby?
• Would the child be safe with them?

If you can find answers to the above questions or those do not apply to you, congratulations!! you are ready to be a parent.

5) Emotional Readiness

Child care is one of the major instances where your patience and tolerance are tested. For a new parent, childbirth can be extremely stressful and depressing. Therefore It’s always better to be prepared early on during pregnancy by learning about what to expect when the baby comes. 

So, you need to ask yourself the following questions –

• Are you emotionally ready to have a baby?
• Can you handle stress without yelling and throwing stuff?
• If you feel depressed is there anyone to support you?
• Are you willing to learn how to take care of a child beforehand?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your sleep and meals for someone else?

6) Accommodation

The place where your child will grow has to be safe and spacious. It is something to think twice about even if your home is adequately spacious for all of you in the family.

• Is your place safe to raise a child?
• Is it spacious enough?
• Is the neighbourhood friendly?
• Is there enough play space?
• If your home is not spacious or safe enough, can you afford a new place?

Final Thoughts: Are You Ready to Take the Leap?

Parenthood is a life-changing journey that requires careful thought and preparation. It’s not just about providing food, shelter, and care but about building a foundation of love, security, and stability for your child. As you ponder the financial, emotional, and physical readiness required to become a parent, remember that it’s okay to take your time.

Becoming a parent is not about perfection—it’s about commitment. If you feel confident in your ability to navigate these challenges and answer “yes” to the critical questions above, then you are on the right path. Embrace the adventure with an open heart, and know that while the journey may be tough, it is also one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer.

Parenthood is not a destination—it’s a lifelong process of learning, growing, and loving. Are you ready to start your story?

The Journey of Parenting in Sri Lanka

Welcoming a new baby, whether it’s your first or 10th (I know!) into your life is an exciting journey filled with love, joy, and discovery. It’s a time of life when you’re showered with advice and tradition, and, often you get a little overwhelmed. At Tiny Taprobanes, our mission is to support New Parents in Sri Lanka as they navigate these early stages with confidence and care. We understand that the experience of parenting in Sri Lanka is unique, often combining the wisdom of generations with a modern approach to parenting. This guide will walk you through practical tips and insights to make those first few months a bit easier.

Whether you’re a new parent, preparing to welcome your baby, or someone simply interested in parenting, our goal is to create a safe and supportive space for all. In this article, we’ll cover everything from baby care basics to finding the right balance between tradition and modern parenting. Let’s dive in!

1. Embracing the Cultural Perspective on Parenting in Sri Lanka

In Sri Lanka, family is at the heart of our culture. Parenting here is rarely a solo experience—grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and neighbours often play a central role in helping raise a child. This communal approach has its benefits, providing parents with a built-in support system of wisdom and hands-on help; a thing that some cultures do not have.

At the same time, parenting traditions may vary based on region, religion, and family practices. For example, in some families, there is a strong emphasis on herbal remedies and natural approaches to baby care, passed down through generations. Balancing these traditional practices with modern parenting strategies can be a unique experience. Leaning on family wisdom while trusting your instincts can create a beautiful blend of old and new.

For us, when we first had our baby, our parents, friends and relatives came up with a lot of advice and told us what to do, when to do and how to do. Some of which didn’t feel right. We listened to them with an open mind, filtered what was best for the child, did our own research and developed our own methods in child care. Which I believe should be the number one thing every new parent should learn, otherwise you will get overwhelmed and depressed very fast.

2. Baby Care Basics for New Parents in Sri Lanka

The first few months of baby care involve learning routines that work for you and your child. Here’s a closer look at essential baby care tips for new parents in Sri Lanka:

• Feeding: Breastfeeding is often the preferred choice, but formula feeding is also an option for some families. Sri Lanka has a growing network of lactation consultants who can offer guidance on feeding techniques, positions, and overcoming common challenges. Local hospitals, especially those in Colombo, Kandy, and Galle, have breastfeeding support groups and consultants who can help.

• Sleep: Setting a sleep routine can be challenging at first. Make sure your baby’s sleep area is well-ventilated and consider a fan to help manage Sri Lanka’s warm climate. Babies often need a few months to adjust to a regular sleep pattern, so be patient with yourself. Keep a simple bedtime routine, like singing a lullaby or rocking, to signal that it’s time to sleep. Mothers also must take some rest and sleep when the baby sleeps, otherwise, they will be too tired to do anything.

• Bathing: Many parents bathe their babies daily due to the humid climate. A gentle herbal bath, using ingredients like margosa (neem) leaves, is a tradition in many Sri Lankan households. Always check with your paediatrician first if you’re using herbal ingredients, and choose mild, baby-safe soap to avoid skin irritation.

3. Navigating Health and Wellness in the First Months

Keeping your baby healthy is a top priority. Here’s how to manage healthcare during these early stages:

• Vaccinations: Follow Sri Lanka’s vaccination schedule, as recommended by your pediatrician. Vaccinations are crucial for preventing diseases and are available at government hospitals and many private clinics.

• Common Baby Health Concerns: Be prepared for typical baby concerns like colic, diaper rash, and teething. For example, diaper rash can be common in warm weather, so keep the area clean and let your baby go diaper-free occasionally. For colic, gently massaging the baby’s tummy can help, and some parents use fennel tea to ease symptoms (consult with a paediatrician first).
• Self-Care for Parents: Taking care of a baby can be physically and emotionally taxing especially with the social aspect as new parents in Sri Lanka. Make self-care a priority—whether that’s a short nap, a cup of tea, or a quick break with a friend. Remember, a well-rested parent is better able to care for a baby.

4. Building a Support System for New Parents in Sri Lanka

In Sri Lanka, there are many ways to find a supportive parenting community. Here’s how to connect with resources that can help:

• Parenting Groups: Check social media for local parenting groups. Many Sri Lankan moms and dads connect on Facebook, sharing advice and organizing meet-ups. Some groups focus on breastfeeding, while others provide general parenting advice.
• Health Resources: Finding a trusted pediatrician is key. Ask for recommendations from family, friends, or local parenting groups. Some hospitals also offer postnatal support, where you can access advice from nutritionists and child development specialists.
• Extended Family: Having family nearby can be a blessing, especially when you need a break. While it’s okay to ask for help, be clear about your own parenting style to avoid misunderstandings with family members.

5. Balancing Traditional and Modern Parenting Practices

Parenting in Sri Lanka often involves blending traditional practices with modern ones. Here’s how to manage this balance:

• Traditional Baby Care Practices: Some Sri Lankan families use traditional practices, like applying a small black dot on the baby’s forehead to ward off the “evil eye” or using herbal remedies for minor illnesses. While these customs are culturally significant, it’s essential to balance them with safe and science-backed practices.
• Modern Parenting Approaches: Many young parents today choose to blend traditional practices with modern parenting techniques. For example, you can follow traditional feeding practices while consulting a paediatrician for nutritional advice.

6. Practical Tips for Daily Life as New Parents in Sri Lanka

Daily life with a newborn can be challenging. Here’s how to make things easier:

• Budget-Friendly Parenting: Raising a baby can be expensive, so plan your budget carefully. Sri Lanka has many affordable stores for baby essentials, from local shops to larger retailers. Secondhand items can also be a good option, as babies grow quickly.
• Managing Time: Balancing household chores, work, and baby care can be overwhelming. Try setting a routine and include small pockets of rest for yourself. Accept that some days will be busier than others, and it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect.
• Celebrating Milestones: Many Sri Lankan families celebrate the first-year milestones, from the first tooth to the baby’s first birthday. These moments are a chance to share joy with family, so enjoy them and take plenty of photos!

7. Conclusion

Becoming a parent is one of life’s most rewarding journeys, and you’re not alone. Sri Lankan culture places a high value on family and community, so embrace this support while also finding your own way. As you navigate the first months of parenting, remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate each small success.

Thank you for reading our guide for new parents in Sri Lanka. We hope this article brings you valuable insights and a sense of connection to others on this journey. Stay tuned for more posts on parenting, baby care, and family life, and remember to share your experiences with us in the comments below!